Sword Shark Blood Shark
by made.for.life
Summary: Squalo is constantly getting things thrown at his head by his boss. He finds it a minor annoyance but with one hit too many, will he be able to take it?


Squalo steeled himself. He had another report for the damn boss and that always meant the same thing. Hit in the head with a bottle, a glass, or any other heavy inanimate object that happened to be around. Or maybe the stupid boss would start walking again he would have to scrabble after Xanxus. The poor shark might even have the pleasure of being beaten, tripped or pushed down the stairs.

"VOIII! Xanxus!" Squalo shouted knocking on the door.

He opened it and barely managed to dodge the first projectile. The white haired man huffed and straightened.

"Report for you, boss." He growled.

Xanxus stood with a "Tch." He strode purposely very fast toward the door. Squalo groaned as the man left obviously expecting him to follow to give his report. The man galloped to catch up with his boss.

"The mission to ….."

Squalo stopped paying attention to what he was actually saying. He had everything planned out beforehand so his loud voice was set on autopilot. Xanxus wasn't even paying attention after the total of people killed and the success or failure of the mission. Why did they do these anyways? Maybe Squalo should have someone else do this next time. The shark always did the reports for everyone. He was the only one who could predict Xanxus's moves and mood, and therefore the only one who could avoid serious injuries.

"Total loss of subordinates is …."

Why did he protect the other top Varia members? Because deep down, he knew they appreciated it. Not having to deal with bloody foreheads and a raging boss. The pair of speaking-while-ignoring-each-other Varia members approached one of the many tall staircases in the mansion. Typically Squalo was ready for this one but today. He was busy thinking when Xanxus cruelly stuck out his foot. Squalo swung his arms around startled.

"Trash." He growled as, mid fall, Xanxus shoved the swordsman to the side.

Squalo let out a yelp as he changed direction and missed catching the rail. He tumbled heavily. The floor rushed to meet him battering the man's head and body. He hit the landing stunned, as if hit by one of his own blows.

Xanxus leaned against the top of the rail and laughed boisterously. "Stand up, scum."

Squalo rolled partially to his knees and cringed as the world sloshed around before his eyes. He stood swaying. Xanxus laughed and threw a few more insults at him before leaving. The swordsman fell to his knees again. God above, his head, it hurt. His vision turned black looking at the back of the stairs.

* * *

He wasn't exactly sure where he was going but he was moving somewhere. Squalo held his rib cage futilely. Had it been a day? An hour? A second? A year? There were people moving around him like an airport. He was handing people things and getting them back like he had done in a hundred times in his life, like it was second nature at where ever he was. He was sitting then not. Squalo coughed heavily leaning against a wall. No blood but God his fucking head! He wandered down the streets more.

"S-Squalo?" A high pitch voice that struck nerve somewhere is his head asked.

"Squalo?" There was another. This one he knew.

"Katana brat." The male spat. He knew his voice wasn't as loud as it ought to be but he could muster anymore.

The voices behind him where talking, he thought but he couldn't hear.

"Squalo!" Tsuna yelled as the Varia man's knees gave out.

He crumbled, succumbing to the head pounding, life throttling injuries. The swordsman watched the world fade back to black. Stupid, damn boss.

* * *

Yamamoto dropped to his knees beside Tsuna. "What happened?"

Gokudera peeked over their shoulders.

"I don't know." Tsuna held his hands over the assassin, hesitant to touch. "We should probably get him to the hospital."

"Right." Yamamoto said putting on his serious face.

Gokudera scowled. "Watch his head you idiot, looks like he banged it pretty damn good.

"Tsuna." Reborn dropped down out of nowhere. "You should remove his sword if you don't want to cause a panic with the nurses."

"Auh. Right." The small male slide the sharp three foot plus blade from under the man's sleeve.

The trio managed to heft the man to the emergency room. Nurses swarmed everywhere, panicking at the sight of someone unconscious. Squalo was loaded with all the gentleness speed could allow on to a stretcher. They put a block around his head to secure it and his neck. He was rushed away disappearing through some double doors. Another nurse came out trying to interrogate them. They wanted to know what happened.

"We don't know." Tsuna whimpered.

"He's a friend of ours." Yamamoto put in. "He just stumbled by us and collapsed."

The nurse gave them a hard look warning them not to lie. She disappeared again.

"Do you think it was an assassination gone wrong?" Gokudera asked as they sat around.

"Where are the rest of them then?" Reborn asked. "The assassins have a tendency to travel together even just to make fun of each other's failures. Especially the Varia."

"He came alone hunting Basil." Tsuna put in.

Reborn put his head down a bit and smirked. "That was a special circumstance."

"Well how are we going to contact the Varia?"

"What?" Gokudera shouted earning a scowl from people around them that was promptly ignored. "Contact? Those bastards?"

"Hey, hey." Yamamoto put his hands up. "It really is the right thing to do. He's in Japan all alone."

Reborn made a hnn sound. "You can just call them."

"What!?" Gokudera and Tsuna yelled.

"Would you please quiet down?" A hefty nurse threatened.

"S-sorry." Tsuna whimpered. "But they really just have a phone number you can call?"

"Of course." Reborn handed Tsuna a phone. "It's under Varia. I already put it in your phone."

Before Tsuna mustered the courage to call the phone of the world's most deadly assassins, a nurse called them. She beckoned them forward and they followed her passed several doors. Through another set of double doors to a section of the hospital that was quieter than the front. There weren't many people here.

She pushed a door open but stopped before letting them in. "If you know anything about what happened to him, we really need to know." She paused. "At first we thought one of you might be an abusive boyfriend from the extreme trauma to his head and body. Do any of you know anything? Girlfriend? Wife? Father?"

"His boss is a bastard." Gokudera muttered thankfully too quiet for her to hear.

"He really just fell over when he passed us." Yamamoto said.

She eyed them seriously. "Very well. The doctor's with him."

They walked in the room and froze. The swordsman was completely laid out with various metal pins lining up bones and his head was locked down to the bed. Had he been awake he probably would have been furious but Squalo didn't have the ability to care just then.

"Good morning." An older male with grey-ish hair gestured tiredly. "Come, come. Your friend here really gave us a run for our money."

Yamamoto looked over the person he had fought with. "What do you mean?"

The man looked at them seriously. "I'm not going to cream coat it. We almost lost him several times while were repairing his head and neck."

"What!" Tsuna screeched.

Yamamoto and Gokudera just stood, shocked. Reborn frowned from Tsuna's shoulder.

"As it is." The man continued, waving a hand over the long silver haired patient. "He has a fractured cranium and severe damage to his frontal lobes combined with the compounded effect of several years' worth of injuries over his skull."

Gokudera gaped but Yamamoto just rubbed his neck. "What does that mean?"

"It means he's hurt badly, especially his head and he's been that way for a while." The doctor frowned. "There must have been some kind of trigger, like a bump to the noggin that his skull couldn't take anymore." He cocked his old eyebrow at the boys. "Any idea?"

They shook their heads and the man sighed. He took off his glasses and polished them a bit.

"Why don't we just ask him later?" Gokudera huffed.

The doctor stopped polishing his glasses abruptly. He set them on his nose. "Do you know what ward of the hospital you are in?"

"Um?" Yamamoto looked around. "Nope." He said cheerfully.

"Of course not." Gokudera snapped out.

Tsuna studied the wall color. "The long term care unit?"

The man nodded. "Your friend here is comatose."

Everyone, even Yamamoto, knew what that meant.

"There's no guarantee that he'll wake up. If he does it might be tomorrow or seven days, or seven years. If he wakes he might also have no idea what happened before he fell. He might not remember anything at all even. Most likely though he won't wake up at all. He will most likely die in this state."

The man handed Yamamoto who looked the oldest some paperwork and fliers on dealing with emotional stress of a family member in a comatose state. The three friends stood completely frozen in place as the man walked out of the room to let the news take effect. What had just happened?

"Tsuna." Reborn kicked him.

The boy fell over backwards. "Oww. Reborn that hurt!"

"Call the Varia."

Tsuna opened his phone without thinking, still looking at the knocked out Varia member. He scrolled down to the number labeled to what he was thinking. He hit send and, on autopilot, pulled the device up to his ear. It rang once. It rang twice.

"Wait! What am I doing?" Tsuna slammed the phone shut. "What am I supposed to tell them? Who do I talk to?"

"Whoever picks up." Yamamoto laughed.

"Stupid Tsuna dial the number." Reborn ordered.

The process repeated. The phone rang once. It ran twice. It rang three times then there was a clicked.

"Good morning! Varia speaking." A flamboyant male voice picked up.

"Uh-uh. Hi?" Tsuna stuttered. "This is Sawada Tsunayousi from the"

"Oh it's you little Vongola!" Lussuria hummed. "Did you call to challenge the boss? He would love to knock someone around right now. Squalo is missing so he's rather upset. Poor bossu." He was completely ready to start chattering away for an hour or two.

"Wait! Squalo, yes that's why I called." Tsuna squeezed in between words.

"Oh Squalo! Is he with you? The boss will be glad to hear that!" The green haired man giggled. "I'm sure we'll be on the next plane over."

"Wait but…" Tsuna trailed off as the phone clicked off to the sound of yelling.

He put the phone down with the feeling of all the blood running out of his face. The device clattered to the table. Tsuna sat down heavily next to Yamamoto who was writing all the information he had learned about Squalo which really wasn't much.

He looked up suddenly. "What do I put for occupation?"

* * *

Approximately twelve hours later, the next day, five pissed off and jet lagged assassins landed in Japan. The exceptions being Lussuria who was never pissed off and Xanxus who was always pissed but had slept the whole trip. Said boss stormed out of the airport with the rest straggling behind. He just stormed and kept storming barely believing that HE had to go pick up one of HIS fucking subordinates. God damn shark. He marched up to the door that belonged to the Vongola brat. He leaned next to it having Levi knock.

"Hello?" Tsuna opened the door. "X-xan-xanxus!" He shrieked as he fell backwards.

"Ushishishi. Where's the stupid shark?" Bel grinned menacingly.

"At the hospital." Yamamoto came up behind Tsuna who was being helped up by Gokudera.

"The hospital?" Lussuria yelped. "You didn't mention that!"

"I-I tried." Tsuna stuttered.

Xanxus just growled and stood up striding away. "Fucking shark."

"Well there's kind of a" Tsuna tried to explain as he and the other two guardians with him ran to catch up. "He's well….."

A glare from Xanxus shut him up.

"Maybe he's dead." Mammon whispered.

Bel laughed cruelly covering up concern. They reached the white building. Tsuna checked in quickly and led the way. He nearly had to run to stay ahead of the Varia. Gokudera joined him and they reached out for the door knob. Xanxus shoved them out of the way.

He opened the door shouting. "You god damn fucking shark!" The Varia pushed passed the young Vongola.

"Squalo!" Lussuria greeted joyfully.

The man didn't respond. He couldn't of course. The Varia paused minus Xanxus. The boss strode right of to the bed and kicked the leg of it.

"Hey!" The doctor from before came running in. "Don't you dare do that. After all the work we did keeping him alive."

"Alive?" Levi barked. "What the hell happened?"

"We don't know you idiot!" Gokudera snarled.

"We thought you would know." Yamamoto smiled.

"Why didn't you just ask him?" Mammon hovered over the shark.

"Like I told your friends before" The doctor answered. "There's a good possibility he won't wake at all. He is in a coma."

"What?" Lussuria yelped again.

Xanxus suddenly burst out laughing. "The stupid shark put himself in a coma when I pushed him down the stairs!"

"You did what?" The doctor screeched. He looked about to go on a rant but wavered under the red eyed glare. "The long term damage? Was that you as well?"

Xanxus leaned against the wall uncaringly.

"Leave." Levi shoved the doctor out the door.

It closed heavily. The slam echoed around the room as it got very quiet. The other Varia stared silently, looking between their boss and their second in command. The Vongola stood forgotten off to the side of the paper white room.

"You." Mammon said.

Xanxus cracked one eye. "Shark was asking for it."

"Asking for it?" Lussuria asked confused.

"Tch. He's always coming back for more, like a fucking boomerang." Xanxus laughed.

"Of course boss." Levi said feeling dutiful.

"He never has anyone else report to me anyways." Xanxus scoffed. "Trashy shark enjoys it."

Lussuria stared wide eyed.

Bel dropped his crazed smile. He didn't even start his sentence with a laugh. "He was trying to keep the rest of us … from being injured."

"Little nurse shark." Lussuria cooed softly.

"Tch." The boss stood back up. "Whatever. Levi your second now. You all can bring me your own reports."

"Ushishi." Bel laughed chillingly. "The prince wishes to remain conscious."

"I wouldn't do it even for money." Mammon floated closer to the blonde. "And I live for money."

Lussuria shifted nervously toward them showing his support. Levi looked between the two groups waveringly. His body leaned toward the Varia then the boss.

"I-I'm with the boss." He said lacking the usual devotion. Levi flinched a bit; even looking at the damage caused by the boss was making him hesitant.

Lussuria step toward the bed and hesitantly put out a hand. "What did the doctor say about this?" Everyone suddenly realized that people existed in the room beyond themselves.

"Uh." Yamamoto rubbed his neck.

"He's in a coma." Gokudera said.

"Obiviously."

Tsuna started hesitantly not quite sure what was going on. "He might wake up but the doc thinks it's most likely that he'll …. Um."

"He thinks Squalo will die in this sleep state." Reborn finished.

The Varia stood. Xanxus huffed. The boss leaned forward and strode out of the room. "If the fucking shark wakes up I expect you all back in Italy. Within a month you'll have been replaced, useless trash."

Tsuna watched him leave then turned back. "Um. There's more. He could wake up without any memory of anything at all."

"Squalo." Lussuria whined.

Bel huffed. "Stupid boss."

"What do we do?" Levi asked nervously.

Mammon shrugged sitting on the blonde's shoulder. "Wait?"

The Varia looked around for someone to give the order. No boss. No second. Who was in charge?

* * *

"Five bucks that no one comes running this time." Mammon bet boredly.

"Ushishishi." Bel nodded.

And they shook on it. They had been fiddling with the call button for over seven hours now. Levi was sleeping in the same chair he had been for the last three days. The first day they had all stood. Lussuria was probably out researching some other strange method of waking the sleeping shark.

"Push it idiot."

As soon as Squalo's head had been removed from the brace Lussuria had had them electrocute the shark then had Levi do it himself when he thought the doctor's way wasn't good enough. They had tried a hypothermic shock treatment. There had also been various drugs used on him. Who knew what the crazy male would try next.

_Beep._

There was the stamping of feet as a nurse rushed down the hall. "You two again!" She turned away, slamming the door.

"I win Ushishi." Bel took Mammon's bills.

"Hello everyone!" The door burst open to reveal Lussuria.

The green haired male held a brown bag under one arm. The three Vongola whelps were behind him.

"Good morning." Tsuna greeted hesitantly.

The Varia ignored him. Their attention favored Lussuria and his brown bag.

"Ushishishi. New miracle cure?"

"Of course." He sang. "This one deals with the sense of smell."

"Ushi Why in the world would that work?" Bel laughed.

Lussuria ignored him and took some stuff out of a bag. "I have Tuna!"

"Tuna?" Tsuna questioned.

He picked the fish up delicately so as not to get the slime on his hands. He waved it around the face of the comatose man. Nothing happened.

"Ok." He said still optimistic. "How about steel oil?"

The small canister gave off a slight smell the only the very best swordsmen are able to detect. It was like a breath of fresh air to them, exhilarating. Lussuria waved it around. Nothing happened.

"Maybe this last one." He hated to try this but. "The boss's favorite wine."

The cork came off with a pop. It didn't fizz but sparkled deep crimson. The second had had this dumped over his head more times than any of them could count. Lussuria actually hesitated on this one but carefully, so as to not slosh it everywhere, waved it under Squalo's nose.

"Hnn." Lussuria sighed a little disappointed. "I guess we'll try"

He paused as there was a suddenly movement. Squalo sat up quickly, his annoyance overriding the suddenly dizziness. He scanned the crowd and opened his mouth. The only sound was a croaking squeak. The swordsman grimaced and grabbed the cup of water from the table where it was sitting. Squalo threw it in his throat and swallowed it down. The shark cleared his throat and took a huge, colossal, deep breath. Tsuna and Lussuria were the only ones who got their fingers up fast enough to plug their ears.

"VOIIIIIIIIIIII!" The hospital shook down to its foundation. The windows trembled and someone could have sworn the other comatose patients rolled in their sleep. "What are you doing here? Where the hell is here?"

"Squalo!" Lussuria cried throwing his arms around the shark.

Bel unconsciously pressed the button. The rest of the Varia and Vongola rubbed their aching ears.

"VOI! Get off of me." Squalo gave him a shove back. "Where are we?"

"The hospital." Tsuna said.

"Vongola brat?" The swordsman snarled flipping his legs over the side of the bed. "What do you mean the hospital? More importantly where the fuck is my sword?" He stood threatening and his silver hair swayed into place.

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" The doctor came running in shoving Squalo onto the bed.

"What are you doing?" Squalo growled.

An army of nurses came storming in to take temperature and check brain functions. They were all dressed in the same uniform with white and pink. Squalo writhed and fought them and they eventually back off from their frustrated patient.

"VOOOI! Where is my sword?" Squalo pushed the doctor into the wall.

"Tsuna." Yamamoto reminded worriedly.

"Oh. Ah!" Tsuna hurried forward. "It's right here."

The swordsman took and blade and reattached it quickly. Squalo relaxed a bit. Every swordsman felt uncomfortable with out his sword. The three foot extra sharp sword added a few pounds to his arm so he felt balanced again.

"Now where's the damn boss and why are the little Vongola here?"

"Ushishi. You made it to Japan." Bel said.

"Boss went back to Italy." Levi looked a bit dejected.

"Hn. Damn Boss." Squalo paced towards the door. "Let's get going."

"Going where?" Yamamoto asked.

The silver haired man barely looked back. "Back to Italy of course. Our damn boss'll be impatient."

The doctor rumbled. "The same boss that pushed you down the stairs?"

"VOI! Of course!" The man strode out the door.

"Hey!" The doctor yelled. "God dammit! Watch your head!" He turned back frustrated. "Keep him safe. If he gets any other bangs it might kill him!"

"Right." Tsuna turned to run after the Varia sprinting after their second.

"Squalo!" Everyone yelled.

* * *

The Varia returned to the manor without really stopping at all. Squalo set a furious pace.

The swordsman burst in the front door yelling. "VOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The huge house rattled. The shutters in the front of the building went askew. Squalo stormed his way back to Xanxus's office where the man was lounged in his favorite chair.

"So your back trash." The scarred man opened one eye.

Squalo just made a disparaging noise. He turned to leave again. Xanxus made no move to stop him.

"You get the next mission for disappearing like that." The boss growled.

"Boss!" Lussuria, who had been behind the door with the others. "Squalo is supposed to take it easy. Any damage to his head could kill him."

"Tch. And why should I give a shit?" Xanxus put his feet up on the desk.

"I've taken more goddamn knocks to the head the rest of you." The silver haired male said. "Back off." He stormed out of the room.

"Squalo please!" Lussuria chased him. "You can't."

"Ushi. I'll take the mission." Bel appeared right off their sides.

"I'll do it and charge you half." Mammon offered.

"Moronic assassins." He shouted. "VOI. I'm taking the freaking mission."

Squalo left the little group looking at each other with worry. But assassins didn't worry about each other so they went their separate ways leaving the swordsman to pack and research for his mission. It barely took a day for him to be off and ready. That is a Varia assassin for you, ready to go the second they escape the confines of medical professionals.

The moment he left the entire household was on edge. Even the subordinates got the air that there was something wrong. Lussuria even snapped at one of them that was annoying him with questions. The green haired guy never snapped. Everyone tiptoed around the top of the group and the leader even more so. It was near dead silent except for the tense shouting matches between Bel and Mammon. Finally, not a minute late, the silver haired swordsman returned.

"Squalo! Your alive!" Lussuria shouted as he was the one opening the door.

"V-VOI! Don't insult me." He sneered half-heartedly. He knew they were just concerned but headaches made him hot tempered. "Where's the damn boss?"

The color drained from Lussuria's face.

"The boss is in his office." Levi came in with Bel and Mammon.

"Ushishi. We're going to make it a field trip." Bel leaned on a wall.

Mammon floated down a bit. "I will be joining this … rather profitless endeavor."

Squalo could see they weren't going to give in so loudly resigned to the parade trailing after him. He walked steadily ignoring the pounding under his temples. This hurt worse than a freaking migraine this did. He pushed the door open.

"VOI! Boss!"

"Shut up you damn shark." Xanxus scowled. "And the rest of you, fuck off!"

Lussuria back hesitantly after the other Varia. The door closed with a light thud. They all stood with their ears pressed to the wood.

"Mission report boss." Squalo started.

Xanxus ignored him as usual. It actually felt like he was receiving special treatment not having the wine glass that Xanxus kept knocking back thrown at his head. He stumbled over words a bit. His brain was fried and scrambled. He had to resist the urge to rub his forehead.

"The Target was ….."

Xanxus stopped sipping his wine listening to the shark stumble with words. He had never been particularly articulate but this was just annoying. How could anyone listen to this and not be annoyed?

"And then …."

In his intoxicated state the voice itself even grated on his nerves. He gripped the heavy glass tumbler in his palm.

"The casualties only …."

Oh God his head was going to explode. It felt like someone had driven three swords through it and was slowly twisting them apart. He would need hours to sleep. Maybe he might even submit to some of the pain medication Lussuria had offered him before coming here. Just get through this Squalo. He chanted mentally. He was nearly there!

"The … the c-clean-up crew …"

Xanxus twisted. The stuttered "C" was all it took. He chucked the wine filled crystal decanter. Sqaulo saw it coming in slow motion. In his fuzzed mind it actually looked beautiful. Crimson blood within a sparkling bottle. The impact felt gentle almost. His vision went black. Xanxus watched in annoyance as the man hit the floor. The wine stained the cream carpet a deep red, almost black.

"Squalo!" Lussuria took mere second to hit the ground near the swordsman.

"Boss." Levi gasped in astonishment.

Bel dropped down to the floor and shoved his fingers beneath the pale jaw. He immediately withdrew them feeling with disgust and shock. His jaw dropped open and worked a bit, wordlessly.

"What?" Lussuria grabbed his shoulder. "What?"

Mammon dropped to the floor by Lussuria. His head lowered for the shadow to consume the rest of his face.

"He." Bel said.

"Dead." Mammon said muffledly.

"D-dead." Lussuri recoiled.

Xanxus froze. The four just stared. The decanter hadn't held much but still crimson spread. The white hair sopped up the blood and wine. Silver shark. Blood shark.

Lussuria stood with a gulp. They were assassins. They didn't cry. Levi scooped up the dead swordsman.

"We're done." They intoned.

Blood Shark. Like a heavy paint brush, the sworn long hair hung limply and dripped its crimson. Xanxus was left there, sitting and staring. Sword Shark. Painted red lay there on the floor as a clear reminder. It wasn't a dream. Silver Shark. Sword shark. Blood shark.


End file.
